And life is good.
I haven’t had much luck getting responses when I post about PCOS here, probably because my blog is usually reserved for crafts and food. But here we go, anyway.
I’ve been doing a lot of research on PCOS and how taking birth control may not be the best thing, especially if you have bad insulin resistance like I do. Most articles I’ve come across say that BC only MASKS the hormonal symptoms while making other symptoms worse. I’ve also read articles suggesting that women who had no symptoms but were taking BC then stopped, developed PCOS, and I believe that’s what happened to me.
I started taking the pill when I was 22 because I was in a serious relationship, but didn’t want to worry about baby scares. I was on it for a little over a year, and after a lot of weight gain and reading up on some of the dangers of taking BC, I decided to stop, and that’s when all hell broke loose. I gained MORE weight, had constant spotting, and generally felt like crap all the time. After about 8 months of this, I decided to see a gyno about it, and subsequent tests proved I had PCOS. The solution? I was put back on the pill, and nearly three years later, I’m still on it.
Recently, I’ve started taking my disease more seriously, doing research, reading articles, and talking with other women who share my plight.
And all that has lead up to this: my decision to stop taking the pill (Yaz) and try to control my PCOS with diet, exercise and natural remedies.
So, advice on this? Women with PCOS, do you take the pill or not? And what are you experiences with or without it?
And how much it sucks. KIDDING. Sort of. I’ve spent the last two days literally doing nothing but working on my improving the SEO in my Etsy shop after reading tons of articles and how-tos, and advice forums. In that time I only got one page of listings done, because I was that thorough and thoughtful about it. It was a lot of changing tags, titles, keywords, and descriptions, waiting a bit for the changes to show up on search, then searching and see where I was in the results, then changing and tweaking as necessary. Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat.
What did it get me? A whopping THREE whole views yesterday, and one awful headache. I am angry, frustrated, and yes, ready to give up. Read to close down my Etsy shop and spend the next few years giving way my items as Christmas and birthday gifts. It’s so depressing I don’t even want to create anything. My whole mindset is clouded with it, with the failure and lack of views and sales, and how my dream of making a living selling things I create is probably nothing but a pipe dream.
I’m sorry to be such a downer, and for throwing my own pity party. But I need to rant a bit today, get out of my system. I don’t even want to look at my shop today. Maybe I should take a break…
My anxiety is an unchangeable condition of my brain. It doesn’t take much to add another condition. Lately, when I’m lying in bed, and I hear all the sounds a house makes when everyone is asleep or quiet or gone, I think that any second something terrible is going to happen. Something that will shatter the tranquility of a lazy and peaceful morning. I fear that the bumps and creaks of the house warming or cooling is someone coming down the hall, and they will open my door and tell me something terrible. Someone is dead or dying. That’s the worst thing.
This condition came from the morning Evelyn died. I was lying in bed, awake, but still lying there, completing the process of fully waking up before I got out of bed to get ready for my brother’s graduation ceremony. I heard the floors creaking as someone came down the hall towards my room. My old, worn out door creaked open, very loudly, louder than usual. And my dad was there, a silhouette with the light from the living room coming in behind him. “Evelyn just died.” And it all combined to make that condition. So now when I hear those same familiar sounds I associate them with something horrible happening. I can’t just lie so peacefully anymore. Always, in the back of my brain, it thinks that something is coming. Someone will open my door and things will change.